This means war! Part 3 of 4: Raise a hallelujah!
Main Truth: “Lord, even when your path takes me through the valley of deepest darkness, fear will never conquer me, for you already have! You remain close to me and lead me through it all the way. Your authority is my strength and my peace. The comfort of your love takes away my fear. I’ll never be lonely, for you are near.” Psalms 23:4 TPT
The day after my defeat, I wanted to curl up and just give up. This is too hard. No thanks Lord, I’ll pass on being a target.
The entire day, I felt super insecure, vulnerable, and defeated. Then, the enemy ensued with more arrows that came in ways of that inner voice - “You are pathetic. You worked so hard and look at you. You are no better than you were when you started. And it cost you your family”.
Licking my wounds, I kept on the enemy’s line. “My work and my striving to do good, left me too tired and exhausted to enjoy my family. Yup, you’re right.”
Then, I felt God say, “you are working for me, not with me, this is the battle you’re suffering. Seek me. I got a battle plan for you.”
To be honest, I was such a pit of defeat that I didn’t want to climb out. I was comfortable in my misery. As the day progressed, my spiritual state remained the same. I know this battle too well, this same thing happened to me years prior. I was duped again. I’ve learned that striving, mixed with trying to control situations, leads to being easily distracted from your core responsibilities. For a moment, I forgot who I was and more importantly, whose I was.
That night, after trying to numb myself with TV, I found nothing interesting to watch. A pastor from my hometown, who I often listen to, came to mind. I pulled up his sermons on YouTube and clicked on a recent sermon titled “Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Discouragement”. And, guess what the sermon was about...yup, Spiritual Warfare. He said something that woke me up...Fighting against the enemy begins with raising a hallelujah. Then, something God told me years ago, He repeated again, “Stop running, stop striving, stop. Be still and know.”
I grabbed my phone, put on my worship playlist, stuck my ear buds in and let the music take over. In the dead of night, I began singing (well lip sycing) to Raise A Hallelujah (Bethel Music), Prince of Peace (Hillsong United) and Tremble (Mosaic MSC). I repeated these three songs over and over and over. After each song, I could feel the worship traveling through my whole body to the very core of my soul. I began dancing like a fool and praising God through these songs. I then began praying over myself and my family.
That feeling of despair lifted. Then I declared, “Not today, Satan. This is war!”
My defeat led to my surrender, my surrender led me to be still, my stillness led me to praise God and knowing He is for me, my praising led me to remember that Jesus has already won and I’m fighting from a place of victory.
Stay tuned for my last post of this This Means War series, where I’ll describe my battle plan.
Post Written by Samantha DeLeon
Samantha has grown up going to church, but didn't encounter Jesus until her mid-thirties. Jesus met her on a road of anxiety and over commitment, turning her faith from a spectator sport to a team player on the field. Samantha's mission is to encourage women like herself, "the overachiever-need to help everyone-over committed-never full" life into the abundant life Christ promises and trust Him through life's ups and downs. Samantha is a California native, is married to her high school sweetheart and they have three school aged children.