Updated: Nov 5, 2019
This means war! Part 2 of 4: Hook, line and sinker.
Missed Part 1? Read it here.
Main Truth “Don’t give the slanderous accuser, the Devil, an opportunity to manipulate you!” Ephesians 4:27 TPT
Leading up to Cultivate, I was very aware of the enemy trying to impede the efforts for the conference. I kept saying to myself, “I need to work harder! This conference is going to happen!” Like it really relied on me. My emotional state was all over the place, I would flip flop between fear and doubt in God providing to the confidence in God providing. I was working hard and diligently weeks leading up to Cultivate. My family life, on the other hand, was suffering. My emotional and mental state of mind was completely drained and I was leaving very little reserve for the ones I hold closest. I kept telling myself, “this is for God, so it’s worth it. He will take care of us.”
The day before and the day of the conference, I was running on adrenaline. And I experienced and heard so many amazing stories of courage and Jesus working. But the days after, I completely crashed. I was exhausted, tired and irritable! The women I was blessed to encouraged on the day of Cultivate got the best of me; my family, on the other hand, got the worst of me.
I felt God saying, “count the cost.” I knew what that meant. When encouraging other women, I often remind them “are you working for God or with God?” It seemed God was asking me that same question.
Then, 5 times throughout the week after Cultivate, I heard about Spiritual Warfare. I could feel something brewing, it was like this dark cloud on the horizon and I was too tired to armor up.
The week after the conference, on Sunday, my pastor taught a sermon on, you guessed it, Spiritual Warfare. I knew something was coming.
That night it hit, slow and steady. My kids were getting on my nerves, my husband was getting on my nerves and then an argument ensued between my husband and I. There was dissention, discord, and throwing of fits (and mostly from me). Something said to me that day hit a nerve and sent me into a downward spiral. I felt myself fill up with so much anger, which then switched to shame and guilt, which then led to pity.
The next day, I felt completely defeated. On the inside I felt bruised and beaten up. I was so overly prepared for battle during preparation of the conference, that I just let my guard down after. The enemy saw an opportunity to throw his flaming arrows. I felt too exhausted to hold up my shield of faith and the sword of Truth.
Hook, line, and sinker.
In the next post, I’ll share how this defeat led me to declaring war!
Post Written by Samantha DeLeon
Samantha has grown up going to church, but didn't encounter Jesus until her mid-thirties. Jesus met her on a road of anxiety and over commitment, turning her faith from a spectator sport to a team player on the field. Samantha's mission is to encourage women like herself, "the overachiever-need to help everyone-over committed-never full" life into the abundant life Christ promises and trust Him through life's ups and downs. Samantha is a California native, is married to her high school sweetheart and they have three school aged children.